My first kiss with Nate

My friend wrote a post about that first kiss feeling, and asked people to share stories about their first kiss with their spouse. I couldn't resist. I typed up a response... but it was too long to post as a comment on her blog. Unwilling and unable to edit that much out of my story I decided to post it here on my blog instead. So... here is the story of my first kiss with Nate. Enjoy.



I was technically engaged, but even though my heart skipped a beat every time Ben smiled at me, something else inside me kept tormenting me that it wasn't right. But I wanted so bad for it to be. I prayed, "Please make him the one for me" because the thought of breaking his heart, was breaking mine.

I had to choose. I had a ring on my finger and fear in my heart. That can't be right. After thinking, and praying I finally came to the conclusion that love shouldn't be so confusing. I called Ben up, and through my tears, forced myself to end it.

I was devastated. I cried so much I started hyperventilating. My sister, who was also my roommate became so concerned she ran to our neighbors house and asked if someone could come over and give me a blessing. Nate came.

A few weeks later a bunch of my college friends were heading to the state fair for the weekend. They needed a place to stay, and my family didn't live too far from Phoenix so we decided to stay there. We all squished into Rebecca's (my other roommate) Buick and made the trip to the fair.

I'm not much of a roller coaster kind of person, but I wasn't going to be the only person not riding so I hoped on, and Nate jumped in next to me. The coaster took off. I screamed. He laughed.

Every ride we went on from then on he jumped in next to me... even cutting off Rebecca a couple times, which she didn't appreciate.

By the time the sun fell it started to dawn on me that he was flirting. We boarded the huge ferris wheel, and once more he jumped in with me. I'm terrified of heights. I had a death grip on the safety bar, and a look of horror on my face... while Nate leaned back, looking very relaxed. As the ride moved skyward, my grip got tighter, and my knuckles whiter. He laughed and said, "You make me nervous."

I said, "Why, am I making you think we are going to fall to our deaths too?"

He smiled and said, "No." Then he hesitated, and suddenly more serious he said, "it's just that, I know that you are just getting out of a relationship, but I really like you... and that makes me nervous."

I was completely blindsided. The ride was ending so I told him we would have to talk about it later that night. I didn't want all my friends and roommates to over hear what I knew would end up being a private conversation.

That night I snuck downstairs and pulled Nate into an empty bedroom. I told him how much I didn't want to get into another relationship right now... all I want to do is focus on my schooling, and maybe date around... nothing serious.

He said he would be totally fine with me dating other people... but he wanted me to know that I was the only person he was interested in dating. My heart skipped a beat... and I was annoyed at how easily it did that.

We agreed to take it slow and just see where it went. I turned around to leave, when from behind me he slipped his arms around my waist and held me for a moment. I got weak kneed and chills, and once again got mad at myself. Suddenly aware at how utterly alone we were I quickly opened the door and slipped away from him.

The next morning Ben came over and I gave him back his ring. As hard as it was I was surprised at how much lighter my shoulders felt when he drove away.

That evening we all squished back into Becca's much too small for six people car and headed back to college. I was in the middle of the backseat, between "Big wave Dave" and Nate. I was tired. It had been a long and emotional day. I started to doze off and found my head leaning on Nathaniel's shoulder. I looked up at him, and saw that he was looking at me too. We just stared into each others eyes for a moment, and then he leaned down and kissed me.

I was taken by surprise. Chills exploded down to my toes, and my heart pounded. I kissed him back. I kept waiting for him to end it, I was totally unwilling too. Everything around us disappeared. I didn't notice Dave looking out the window pretending he didn't notice, or my three roommates, including my sister in the front seat staring at us shocked through the rear view mirror. All there was was us. Finally realizing that he was not going to end it, I pulled away and nuzzled my head into neck. And I stayed there, feeling his warmth, trying to catch my breath, and trying to figure out exactly what had just happened.

We were engaged 6 weeks later, and married 7 weeks after that. I've never regretted it... and though we've been married for more than 10 years now, he still gives me chills.